This entry I wrote on Wednesday 20/01 but problems with Speedy / Telefonica I could not raise.
time ago, short, but some time ago I had been thinking. In fact, they are years that I've been thinking this, but recently I started the search.
My dad before he met my mother, was in a relationship with another woman, and had a son, who today would be around 30-40 years. know the name her mother, her approximate age, he already had at least one child. And he had a disease, fucked. Rare for his age, but fucking well. And he clearly told my dad I did not want to see again. And he fulfilled. That was all I knew.
not ask me why, the other day hise a list of things before he died and left it in drafts. That list was to find Daniel, and get to know me or my nephew / s, because at least had one.
And I started to find these days. One of the first options that I thought was facebook. Kept favorites of Google Chrome, about 25 people with the same name on facebook to send them a private message and see if any of them would be my half brother. I could not take place because I was without internet.
I'll never be able to delete the item in the list, I can never know, I'll remain a ghost aunt nephews that I'll never know, nor do I know their history, what happened with my dad, that was what I really wanted both. I can never know anything of his life, nor complete the mine. All things that I need to know and now least of all, I have no way of knowing how.
And I think this is the first and last time I will talk about this. It bothers me, it annoys me and frustrates me this. Beyond not have even known I was dying to do, when I clicked that I had to look it or yes, I heard this, something that changed my face all week.
Yesterday I learned that he is dead.
* I clarify a couple comments, which he did not know of my existence. Or at least I think ...
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